"http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd"> RANT AND RAVE
*Rant and Rave With Jayne County is satirical content and not intended for readers under 18 years of age. Rant and Rave With Jayne County uses invented names in all its stories, except in cases where public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental.
Give America back to Mexico..... Well here we are again! And yes I know that we (?) supposedly bought Texas from them (?) but the conditions were forced to be in favor of the AmeriKan government at the time! It had nothing to do with the People and everything to do with the corrupt governments of Mexico and the U.S.A. The Mexican people were shafted. And this is what this all adds up to, as far as I, Jayne County is concerned. Since the entire southwest of Amerika once belonged to Mexico, and considering how it was taken away from them by a bloodthirsty, up and coming fascist government, I find it simply heartless and detestable that the very people descended from the ancestors that were so inhumanly treated, are now deemed 'illegal immigrants!' That is just plainly INSANE and MEAN!!! These people have every right to live and work in 'this country' considering the way they have been treated by our so called 'christian nation!!!' I have not capitalized 'christian' on purpose, because it doesn't deserve to be. NOW: On to something else! Well, sort of. Here is The Jayne County Top Ten Rock And Roll HALL OF SHAME!!! People who, although they may be great artist, they hold right wing racist and fascist views.
10. Grace Slick - How sad indeed! The amazing and immortal music made by The Jefferson Airplane lives on! Now the singer who once fought against 'The Empire' giving it blow after blow, is now sadly a stupid, narrow minded, war mongering RepubliKKKan !!! Grow wiser with age? Hardly so! In this case it's 'grow into a big fat asshole!' By the way. Her art is fabulous' And the LP 'Crown Of Creation' is a work of genius! Even if the lyric's cries against the establishment ring hollow now! Grace please shed your RepubliKKKan brainwashing!!! The Revolution needs you again!!!
9. Lynard Skynard ( Or however you spell the stupid name!) - Sweet Home Alabama is right! And you and that asshole redneck shit head, Kid Rock can stay there waving tour stupid racist Confederate shit rag of a flag, until you rot under the trees your SWEET ancestors and inbred relatives, hung innocent African Americans, Native Americans and Gay people on!!! Rot In Hell you Confederate hillbilly morons! You lost the god damned fucking CIVIL WAR!!! Every time you wave that flag it says "LOSERS!!!" AND you would lose it again!!! So SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
8. Kid Rock - Second verse. Same as the first! He had his tongue so far up Bush's asshole that it made King Georgie Porgie speak with a forked tongue!!! So that's why!!??!!
7. Johnny Ramone - I know. I know!!!! I know!!!!!! Before you threaten to kill me for blaspheming the HOLY name of The Ramones! The Ramones were and are one of if not the best Rock and Roll bands (Punk?!?) of all creation!!!! Or in all evolution!!! But I'm more with Joey on the political side. It's a well know fact that Johnny's political leanings were considered 'far right wing' by mainstream standards. It brought him constantly at odds with the rest of the band. And it got worse as time went by!!! Joey wrote 'The KKK Took My Baby Away' about Johnny taking away his girlfriend. Joey never got over it. I will never forget being in a car with Johnny way back in the Punk years in NYC. The car pulled up to a red light just as a black kid was crossing. Johnny sneered "Run over the fucking nigger!" I never looked at him in the same way again! Nuff said!!! P. S. Oh Nevermind!
6. Britney Smears - OK I know she ain't Rock n' Roll but I just love raggin' on the dumb bitch for saying "I think we should all support our president! Bushite dumb head!!! And who needs Britney Smears when we got Lady Ga Ga, who makes Madonna look like The Singing Nun!!!? And Ga Ga is a gay rights supporter and as far as I can see she's OK! Unless someone knows dirt on her!!! Like she's a secret Nazi or something!? I hope she's a cool Socialist who just so happens to love making lots of banana nut bread! I need her to send me some nuts for my sweet kitty sanctuary!!! Anyway. Britney Spears is a stupid sheep. And she fucks them as well!
5.Joe Perry - From the Rolling Stones copy band, Assholesmith. Oh yeah, a hard core RepubliKKKan, who has made a name for himself for supporting anti gay candidates and Neo Nazi racist attacks on Mexicans and non whites. This repulsive third rate Jeff Beck is a low life scum bag if there ever was one!!! A Pee Party Neanderthal with the intelligence level of a kangaroo's ass! I hope Mick Jagger and David Johansen impersonator Steven Tyler is proud of this crappy washed up Heavy Metal superstar wannabe. He's a dirt bag and a shitty song writer as well. And his band are a joke. Just because alot of stupid ignorant idiots buy your over produced, crap and yesterdays dinosaur me-wings doesn't mean you have any class or ass!!! You stink!!! And your music sucks Hitler's kraut filled asshole!!! Fuck you Joe Perry. Oh and while I'm at it. Fuck Metallica as well! Outdated, uncool, unhip gold plated rat turds!
4. Ted Nugent - Oh Isis !! I have written so much about this low life, Confederate shit flag waver that I am about to give out! He is mentioned on the song 'Rock And Roll RepubliKKKan' by Ginger Coyote and Jayne County. Also mentioned in the song are Alice Cooper, Johnny Ramone and Gene Simmons. Right wing Nazi pig, Teddy Nugent, rants against Gays adopting kids. Oh boy and we all know what a great parent that Shit Eater is! And he says now he didn't do drugs in the 60's! Liar! You were a LSD crazed lunatic who thought he was a donkeys ass. That's why so many shucked corn cobs were shoved up your white Aryan ass! And with a song called 'Journey To The Center Of Your Anal Canal' no wonder everyone thought you were the most corn holed drug addict in the history of rock!!! All Ted Nugent needs is a white sheet a burning cross and a bunch of niggers, spics, and queers to hang from the honeysuckle vines!!! The worst right winger of them all!!!! May he rot in HELL!
3. Gene Simmons - Another over used pulled out fucked up asshole that I have been ranting and raving about since Kiss opened for me back in the Dark Ages at a loft party somewhere over the rainbow. Or is that under the doctors surgery table where they actually pulled out a living creature baby with bats wings and a serpents tail right smack dab outta Gene's Grand Canyon, surround sound asshole! Wow! What an asshole!!! Yes!!! Gene has given birth to Satan's baby out of his colonists ass!!! What an asshole!!! Gene loves defending German baiting, right wing Nazi biatch, Margaret Thatcher and killing Hippies, who he blames for all the worlds problems! Really? Hippies? Responsible for the problems of the world Gene!!?? Wow how intelligent you are! No Gene! Its supposed to be the Jews! Shit, you can't even be a proper Nazi! What a douchbag! If it wasn't for Hippies Kiss could have never happened and You would never have been allowed to wear that blob of cow poop sitting on top of your head that you call HAIR!!! Hippies loosened AmeriKa up so turd mouths like you could form rock bands where every single song sounds like The Rolling Stones 'Jumping Jack Flash!' You know nothing about the problems of the world sitting up there on your ivory throne of narrow minded stupidity!!! Your nothing but Pat Boone in freaky make up. And the lowest most tackiest queen in Greenwich Village does a better make up job than you got on that flat oblong ugly mug of yours!!' So! SHUT THE PISS UP YOU tacky closet case RepubliKKKan retard!! You don't know shit bout nothing!!! Oh and I was an outrageous Hippy Street Queen in the 60's, so SCREW YOU!!! I am more of a man than you will ever be and more of woman than you will ever be able to get! And I could whoop ur fat SS Ass from Cloud Nine on 47 tabs of acid, and get back to my Psychedelic Shack in time to eat a magic mushroom 3 egg omelet in less than one minute flat! I am proud of my Hippy and Psychedelic roots and I got enough empty bottles of Miss Clairol to start a glass blowing factory all up your hammy, pammy, fanny!!! So get hip from this Tranny and FUCK OFF back to your cave with all the other Rock and Roll Neo Con. Neanderthals!
2. Alice Cooper- Another Rock And Roll RepubliKKKan turd, making an appearance in Jayne and Ginger's fab song, 'Rock And Roll RepubliLKKan.' I LOVE Alice Cooper! The psycho on stage in ripped clothes, and weird make up, beheading babies and beating people with whips!!! And the songs are fantastic! Catchy bazarro tunes with great sounding guitars and drums! What more could one hope for!? Well maybe a little realness to begin with? Well, maybe not! Alice Cooper is a character that doesn't really exist. It's a made up horror show backed with some great Rock music. But underneath all that make up and play acting, lies something alot more scarier than that made up character! Underneath lies a narrow minded Neo Con! A conservative BIGOT who thinks that anyone disagreeing with King George Bush should or tried for treason and hung! Yes it's true. The man beneath the Mask Of Alice Cooper, is a NAZI PIG!!! A 'Born Again' Christian theocratic asshole who thinks it's fine for AmeriKKKa to march off to war and steal peoples oil and force our sick twisted version of God and Country on other nations! And no one is to have the right to disagree! Now that is a Nazi Pig that should be held down in a shoulder guard and have it's mountain oysters chopped off and thrown into the Lake Of Fire And Damnation!!! Praise be to GOD and let's all drink his blood and eat his flesh and all be God fearing cannibal sheep together!!! Oooo weeee !!! What's up wit dat????? Well praise The Lord and pass the ammunition so we can kill everyone that dosn't believe the same way as we do!!! Meet me on the other side of Canaan (No meet me on South Street!) so we can steal peoples land, murder all men, women and children, including pregnant ones with their little heathen fetuses!!! But let's put a fetus on our dollar bills!! Force God and our way of life(?) DEATH on all others !!! AMEN!!!!! Kill!!! Kill!!! Kill!!!! Kill in the name of The Lord!!! GOD TOLD ME TO KILL YOU!!! SHAME on you Mr. Nice Guy!!! Mr. whatever your name is, who fucking cares!!! Vince Shitonbette or whatever!!! Prance around on stage like a freako Mr. Boone!!! Then come off screaming bigoted, narrow minded, war mongering bullshit at every pathetic, fellow fascist scum bag that will listen to your phony, hypocritical, senile, OLD FART Jesus CRAP! Then jump back on stage, if you can make it, and REALLY hang yourself this time! You deserve it! Good bye King George AND Queen Alice! You deserve each other!!!
1. CHERRY CURRY- Whoops did I spell the name right??? I always wanna spell it as Curry because like Lamb Curry, Cherry gives me heartburn and makes me wanna shit and vomit at the same time!!! Anyway, what a shame!!! No freaky make up for this aging hag to hide under! All she needs is more shoulder pads and bigger 80's hair and she could become the grade D witch version of Joan Collins on a bad trip headed for the bright lights of Crockashitboomba, California Uber Allies! I guess she's too busy being terrorized that some nasty ole Mexican is gonna steal her job!!! What job is that Ms Curry? (Belch!!!) The job of Facebook Nazi??? I mean do you really need your part time job of picking grapes and making tacos??? And shock horror!!! You poor little frail White Aryan baby you!!! Having to be sooooo upset that Obama is a MUSLIM!!! And all those infantile postings you put up on your Facebook page! I really loved the racist ones where they attack so called 'illegal immigrants' for working on the very land that YOUR ancestors stole from THEIR ancestors! That's right girlfriend! Pass that stupidity on down! Don't let it die!! Like your pathetic short winded career did when you realized you weren't a WILD GIRL after all! When you realized that you were gonna have to work hard to make it and that taking drugs and sticking Joan Jett's military hard nosed tongue up your tight little twat was not gonna make you into The Rock Version of Peggy Lee!!! Much less Susie Quartro!!! More like Peggy Lee's colostomy bag! Because your both full of shit and it runs out only on one side! And everything was done for you anyway. You can't write your own songs! You can't do anything but follow orders and become Little Miss Sex Puppet on a string! Putting racist postings up on your ha ha ha Facebook smear page of President Obama only makes you look like the stupid BIGOT that you are!!! Oh shock horror!!! Obama is a Muslim and was born on the same island as King Kong!!! DUH! Isn't that the leader of Korea?? DUH!!! And that crap movie The Phonyways! What a piece of low grade pigeon poop!!! Well I actually liked it cause I do must admit that I love really bad flicks!!! This film should be renamed Tampax Nine From Outer Space!!! The music was fab but that's only because Kim Fowley writes great songs! Cheri couldn't write a song even if they tied her legs together (An impossible feat in itself!) and hung her upside down from a light pole and banged her head on a set of warped Farfisa organ keys! This movie makes Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls look like Neo Nazi Mel Gibson's ' The Passion Of The Christ!' Hell, that makes no sense at all but it was fun making it up!!!! (He He!) Cherry Curry! (Quick, hand me a butt plug!) Standing up for everything that is wrong with AmeriKa! Well now she is on Facebook and sadly that is her life! Since she had no life at all before Facebook, it is pretty pathetic indeed! From Cheri Bomb to Klannie Mom! Right wing bigot takes all! Hello Ann Coulter, Hello Glenn Beck!! I'm your KKKKKKKK Klannie Mom!!! How sad! Pass me the barff bag again! Is there a hole for me to get sick in!? Sure! But I'm not gonna say it!!!!!!
This is Jayne County signing off now with the Top Ten Rock And Role Hall Of Shame!!! Until next time. Happy Trails To You , Until We Meet Again!!! xoxo
*Jayne County's Rant and Rave is a satirical news article. All subject matter contained within, however near to actual stories appearing in the news, should be assumed to be of a fictitious and of satirical nature. Any resemblance to actual persons or events is purely coincidental. Any views or opinions presented in this article are solely those of the author Jayne County and do not necessarily represent those of Punk Globe Magazine.

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