Whore’s Mascara

By Timm Carney

I have never been a fan of club or dance music.  I guess I get bored to easily. I listen to some stuff here and there and sometimes on the rare occasions I am in a dance club or a place playing club music I do hear something I like.  I recently heard something I liked and it was by Whore’s Mascara. I had naturally never heard of them but thought they sounded fun.  I wrote their name down on a notebook I sometimes cleverly carry with me.  A couple of days later I was cleaning out a jacket and found my clever little notebook and the words Whore’s Mascara scrawled on it, I googled them. It turns out they have a few recordings out and a couple of videos.  I checked out their video on U-tube and then their MySpace page.  It seems that Whore’s Mascara is two guys Chaz Kourday and Lonni Bahls sometimes joined by a woman named Girl George.  They are a New York based act that I guess is dance music.  I found them to being extremely funny.  “All I want” is the song and video that is making the rounds right now and is a spot on interpretation of the “Gay Lifestyle”.  I laughed myself silly watching the video and had to send to a couple of friends who also loved it!  “ All I want is a cute blonde boy who sorts cocaine and likes Madonna”  “He’s even got this great fag hag friend who’s Asian, fat and really funny” The vapidity of the “Scene” is perfectly skewered by these boys who have obviously been around. 

The other songs they have on their sites are equally funny and slutty.  These boys know slutty and have made it fun.  “Second Coming” is an irreverent dance track that I guess I would dance to if I heard it in a club.  “You were hung on the cross, when will you cum again…” a cute funny lyric that will only serve to annoy the religious right/wrong and that is always a good thing in my books.  These boys aren’t going to change the world, but I am pretty sure that it isn’t the goal.  They are fun and having a good time.   Check them out download one of their songs onto your iPod and have a good laugh while you dance.