VGL
by Timm Carney
 

WTF is up with VGL?  I was perusing the Craig’s List m4m postings (the way one does) the other day.  It struck me as odd how many str8 VGL versatile men with 8” penises live in my surrounding area. 

First off, if you are truly VGL why are you posting on Craig’s List? Shouldn’t the delivery guys from Chef Ho or Peapod be throwing themselves at you every time the doorbell rings?

Secondly, what are the standards for VGL?  Are these guys really VGL?  Perhaps they are only GL or NHL (not hideous looking) or even OVGL (once very good looking).

Thrice, if you are str8 why are you posting let alone reading Craig’s list m4m?  Shouldn’t you be out scoring pussy and slapping your other str8 friends on the ass?  To the best of my knowledge, straight men have sex with women.  Apparently, str8 men like a little bit o’ boy on the side.  Which makes me ponder how straight is str8.

Back to the VGL issue.  Where are all these VGL men?  Are they at home furiously masturbating before their computer monitors because I am not running into them on the streets, in the clubs, or in the bars.  Frankly, I keep my out for them at all times.  Here and there a VGL does make an appearance but usually on the arm of another VGL or a couple of fag hags whacked on Zima.  The truly VGL are an elusive lot.  This leads me to believe that all these postings are a sham.  They aren’t really VGL at all but in actuality an aging fat guy with an ED diagnosis and a Viagra prescription.

Puzzle number 2

You really aren’t VGL and have claimed to be.  You aren’t str8 and don’t have an 8” penis, what happens once you’ve been contacted?  In your posting, you’ve requested stats and pix. You get the pix and it’ a semi-hot dude.  The dilemma, do you fess up and admit you are just an average guy or do you keep the fantasy going?  My extensive “research” of this issue makes me conclude the following.  There will be an abundance of emails detailing exactly what will happen and how hot it will be.  Plans for a meeting will be elaborately laid out and then all communication will suddenly cease.  Why?  VGL is a very fragile state of being and the eye of the beholder could possibly see the truth.

Why can’t posters just tell the truth?  “I’m a 66 year old chain smoker with a drinking problem and eczema.”  “I’m a horny 17 year old computer geek with no car.”  “10 years ago I was hot; now I have self esteem issues.”

Now back to the str8 issue.  Use of “straight acting” a truly idiotic phrase must be curtailed.  Do str8 me usually have sex with women aka their wives but every now and then like man action.  Wouldn’t that be considered bisexual?  Does str8 really mean bisexual?   There are so many ambiguities with str8.  What exactly can the str8 do or not do sexually? Where are the lines drawn?  When does one go from being straight to str8 and when does one become gay?  The whole str8 thing is a quagmire.

Now for the last bone to pick.  8 inches.  Everyone has an 8-inch penis.  To be fair 7.5 runs a close second.  The average male erection length is just under 6 inches worldwide.  The VGL str8 man is therefore better endowed than your average bear.

I conclude with a plea for honesty and sincerity in your m4m postings.  You aren’t doing yourself and any number of horny men any favors posting this poppycock.

 

 

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