Photos and Story by: Miss Oblivious
www.paynecreations.org

As with any large American city, Seattle , Washington offers just about anything on any given night: pretentious rock shows, naughty cabaret acts, snooty art openings, and buxom burlesque performances by the dozen. Yet, for this author at least, these options remain limited and bland – that is until now – Yes, now there is one night, up on Seattle’s tortured Capital Hill, which knows no limit. On night that leaves a taste in one’s mouth so distantly removed from bland it could only be described as gourmet – I’m talking about Snackhole featuring Jackie Hell and her ungovernable pals!

I must say that my initial encounter with Jackie Hell, at a Trannyshack - Seattle show, caused my heart to thump. She is the definitive women: keen fashion sense, artistic make-up and an exquisite taste in handbags and shoes. A true reminder of my own pill-poppin’ mother.

That night on the Trannyshack stage she had her Control Tops backing her up with keyboards and vocals. Quelle experience surreal - 1980’s pulsation, handbag sensation – could only be a mirage in the desert of Seattle nightlife.

I began writing Jackie praises on the internet and admiring her paparazzi shots. I attended a casting call as an extra in her recent video, "Whore” - I couldn’t respond fast enough for I just had to be a Miss.Hell video. I met Hell collaborator Jenny Crank (Phoebe Fondue ): all balls and smudges, sitting in a dumpster. I felt right at home in this dingy back ally with these most glamorous of people on Capitol Hill.

Next I booked Hell and her entourage for my first of the Trashiest Prom Night… Ever: TUMMYACHE. After which I was told by many of the audience that it was a night like nothing they had ever seen! Thanks to the Divine Miss Hell!

But now, like a menstruation, there is a monthly installment of Jackie Hell and Friends: SNACKHOLE…

…And to think I was out of town for the first night, a mistake I will never, ever repeat.

A typical (if there is such thing) Snackhole night might begin with a Moroderesque original by Jackie Hell with Stella Rose and Phoebe Fondue. All followed by tricks, talents, and fine eatery choreography by young fashionistas, such as Caressa Dick, Bella MissBehavin, Michele Francis, Anita Snax, Amoania Ainaoma, and Troy Minx to name a few.

At any intermission DJ’s Jodi Bon Jodi, NARK, Amateur Tooth, and Rockin Rollita taunt and tease our ears with sounds of chaos and melody. After intermission there usually an eating contest with audience contestants and prizes such as…

Oh and Jackie Hell’s son Rondle McFondle normally makes an appearance in his wheel chair by Stella Rose for a number or two….

After all the solo performances have been devoured…

Check out this Video

… a live band performs! Not just any band but usually one of Seattle's best no-wave, punk, electronic ensembles:

Telepathic Liberation Army…

Lady Krishna and the peppermint Lounge

SPURM

So if you are in Seattle and it happens to be the third Thursday of the month … Because, for this author – I much prefer the unlimited gourmet of $2.00 corn dogs, tator tots, and Snackhole featuring Jackie Hell and Friends OVER ANYTHING ELSE.