Cold Beer Hot Pussy No Cover - The Sleazies
by Timm Carney

I’m a very lazy person.  I’m also a very lucky person. Recently I was looking for a band to become obsessed with and write about.  I found The Sleazies. I contacted them and we arranged a time when I could come by and hang out at a rehearsal.  I asked for the address and was told 91 Chapin Ave.  As I said, I’m a lazy person but lucky. I live at 51 Chapin Ave.  It’s about half a block away I think I can make it.  The Sleazies rehearse in the completely soundproofed basement of a Victorian flat.  I had no idea that bands rehearsed in this house.  I walk by this place on a daily basis and I’ve never heard a band playing but down in the creepy basement punk rock is rehearsed.  I prepared for the interview at Tropical Liquors where I picked up a six-pack and thought up some lame questions while in line.

The first time I saw The Sleazies they were playing during the intermission at Women’s Roller Derby.  They played really fast. I love a fast band. They got right to the point, no intros (is 1, 2, 3 an intro?) just rock! Their songs were fast and short, just they way I like ‘em. 

The Sleazies are the classic DIY punk rock band.  Hitting the road with another band (The Midnight Creeps) The Sleazies are coming to your town and they will help you party it down.  I showed up a little late for my appointment with The Sleazies which in reality was an hour and a half early.  It worked out kinda cool though because The Midnight Creeps were rehearsing when I got there.  Well most of  The Midnight Creeps were there, the lead singer was at home nursing some sort of punk rock chick injury sustained at a recent show. As luck would have it Josh Towers, the drummer, and bass player Jonas Parmalee are doing double duty on the tour playing in both bands.  They join a guy named Stimbot (?!) and Jennifer Hurricane to form The Midnight Creeps as well as playing in The Sleazies. These guys are punk rock.  I ran into Jonas a couple of days later at the crepe joint where he works, rockin’ and great crepe making are apparently not mutually exclusive.  Who knew?

So most of the Midnight Creeps and I went upstairs after their rehearsal was over. Jami the lead singer for the Sleazies lives on the second floor. Jami’s place has several bedrooms with mattresses for out of town bands to crash on.  One of the guitarists is Complete Blurr, Peter Blurr, Pete Burr.  About 25 years ago Peter Burr was an annoying 12 year old boy and I was an 18 year old punk rock boy with amazing attitude.  Pete’s dad was a professor I had in college. Supposedly,  my first words to Pete were “Go away kid you’re bugging me.”  I was so punk rock.

Upstairs with The Sleazies I decide it’s time to be the rock journalist and I ask them my series of stupid questions. My favorite stupid questions is “describe The Sleazies in one word.” Their answers: drunk, drunk, Magic (can I change my answer? No.), undeniable.  My second lame question was “What bands do you hate?” Alanis Morrisette, Queen, Fleetwood Mac and unanimously The Eagles.  I also asked them about their worst show.  Someone, I don’t remember who, did not like playing naked in Philadelphia in a place called The Pleasure Bungalow. I don’t know why, it sounds kinda fun to me. My next really lame question was who comes to see The Sleazies.  “Everyone, unless they suck.” I’ve been to a couple of their shows and I have to agree.

“I wanna to Fuck Your Mom” is my favorite song on their CD. I assume that’s the title because the copy I have has no case never mind liner notes or song titles.  They also gave me a 45.  They get props for publishing on vinyl. Nothing is cooler than vinyl.

Do yourself a favor; when The Sleazies come to your town go and check them out.  Buy them a beer and pick up their CD.  They’re the real thing. Not only are they personally a lot of fun their show is too.  If Johnny Lydon and Corey Feldman had a baby it would be Jami.  He pulls off some pretty funky lyrics with just enough antics and no posturing.  Okay back to “I Wanna to Fuck Your Mom”.  Who doesn’t love a MILF?  “You know she’s pretty cute for a gal her age…Gonna make your sister watch… you know if she were older I’d do her too…”  If there was a “Providence Sound” this would be a great example of it; fast ever so slightly bluesy irreverent punk.  My second favorite song off of Trite Ditties and Meaningless Crap is “I Wanna to Be a Junkie”.  Hmm, the second song with the word wanna in the title. The DIY anthem “Gonna Operate On Myself” is almost vaguely political.  “ I can’t pay no hospital bills.  I can’t pay for hospital pills. I don’t need no second opinion.  Gonna grab that fork and make an incision.”  Hands up everyone without health insurance.

My final stupid question was my lamest.  “Why should we check out The Sleazies?” was all I could come up with while on line at the liquor store. Unanimously, they answered, “Because our dicks don’t suck themselves!”


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