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by Pamela Torres
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"WARNING: This movie is not made for wimps! If you are a yellow bellied crybaby that can’t handle extreme blood and gore, then go back to
hiding behind your mama’s skirt and skip this movie!"
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I'll never forget the very first time I read this disclaimer on the front of the DVD. I bought it for just FIVE BUCKS while attending last
year's Spooky Empire Screamfest Convention in Orlando, Florida's Wyndham Resort. Little did I know that "Slashers Gone Wild," the first
full-length movie to be unleashed by the independent World Parody Productions, would instantly become one of my top favorite horror films!
With 78 minutes worth of fatal stabbings, limb amputations, eyeball gouging, flesh-ripping zombies, and a brutally loud heavy metal soundtrack
(all served to audiences on a silver platter with plenty of good laughs), this movie is without a doubt A GOREHOUND'S WET DREAM! I must warn all
readers that only fans with REAL GUTS can withstand this low budget, shot-on-video masterpiece!
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WELCOME BACK TO "WATCH THE BITCH BLEED!" The film opens up in a plain and ordinary living room where a Pulitzer Prize-seeking reporter named
Jessica Peters (singer TIFFANY APAN) hacks into SLASHERS INCORPORATED, a subversive website where psychotic killers hack and mutilate an
endless number of squealing "litterbugs" for the sake of cleaning up the environment; it's a charitable cause taken so seriously that doing
something as harmless as tossing a Styrofoam cup can cost you an arm and a leg! The site is hosted by the sexy Alicia (ROBYN GRIGGS),
SLASHERS INC'S blond President and CEO, and Rob Thrasher (RAZ), a hockey mask-wearing talk show host and chainsaw champion. After giving
laptop viewers a brief but educational lecture on the devastating effects of ozone pollution (such as how cigarette smoke contains 3900
toxic chemicals), Alicia introduces to all voyeurs a contest where the winner must slice and dice his way into becoming the #1 Slasher
of the Year. Whoever triumphs in the end will be rewarded with a lifetime supply of THRILL KILL PILLS, a muscle-enhancing drug that
transforms an average junkie into an immortal powerhouse! The first of the three bloodthirsty contestants is Nursery Rhyme Jack
(JACK BOWMAN), a cannibalistic woodsman who keeps stuffed animal heads mounted on the walls of his cabin. After hunting down and tying up his
latest prey, Jack presents his own cooking segment with a scrumptious holiday recipe of stir-fried squirrel brains! The second competitor is
Loonatic Rob (Played by director & producer ROB AVERY), the cackling, ridiculously demented host of the slaughterhouse game show, "Truth or Dare!"
Any unfortunate victim who is unlucky enough to reach the bonus round gets zapped in the electric chair! Last but not least, the final murderer
hungry for the grand prize is the maniacal Kevin Tooler, (also portrayed by ROB AVERY), a trash-talking occult freak who wears a stained dish
cloth over his scarred face. Not only is he one of the few people to survive getting his throat slit open by Rob Thrasher, but Kevin also
possesses regenerative powers granted to him by hordes of horned demons. The rivalry between the two men quickly escalates into a WWE-style
grudge match that sprays gallons of blood and intestines on both sides! Can Kevin still survive even after getting his head ripped off his
neck stump and his skull crushed beneath Rob's combat boot? Stay tuned!
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The uncensored Director's Cut DVD contains quite a few goodies. Among them are behind-the-scenes bloopers, an official trailer, a hilarious
Loonatic Rob music video, and insightful "drinking game" commentary provided by RAZ & ROB AVERY.
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"THRILL KILL PILLS! TWICE A DAY MAKES A GOOD SLAY!"
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