Bright Light Shines On...
To some, May 1st
means nothing more than the beginning of a new month,
another due date for bills and one month closer to summer, but to some
of us, it is a special day that is cloaked in sadness and missing.
By Dark Diva
May 1st would have been Nick Traina’s 30th birthday.
Traina, son of author Danielle Steel, member of punk band 80,and
close friend to Ginger Coyote, was a beautiful, talented and expressive
young man and he touched many lives he came in contact with.
he left this earth too early because he lost his battle with the demon
called manic depression, otherwise known as bipolar disease and he
ended his own life at age 19. Regardless of all the love and support
shown to him by his family and friends, numerous attempts at
hospitalizations and medication changes, Nick couldn’t find his way out
of the darkness.
So now I’m sure
you’re wondering, “What the
fark does this have to do with punk rock? Why am I reading this?’ Well
for one, I live Nick’s life; I battle with bipolar disease as well, as
well as approximately 14.8 million American adults in a year. And as I
look back on the people who made punk “punk” I see so many who are no
longer with us that displayed similar bipolar traits and, who more than
likely, were undiagnosed, unmedicated and suffered alone til they died
by their own hands whether through overdoses or suicides of another
Did you ever think
about the people who blazed a trail
in the punk rock world that died needlessly at a young age leaving us
They had talent,
they had fans, they had fame
and money and all of a sudden we hear of another one leaving this
world. Remember the tug at your heart when you heard Nick died, or
Johnny Thunders, Jerry Nolan, Billy Murcia, or Dee Dee Ramone. And
remember the feeling in your stomach when you heard about Syd and
Nancy, whether you liked them or not.
The one thing that
out to me about all of them where they were people who felt they didn’t
fit in this world; they were square pegs in a round hole. They wanted
to be loved and when they were loved, they ran.
Nick with mother
They were members
the punk culture and in your face, angry that the world belonged to
everyone but not to them. They’d fight you before you could fight them.
They wanted desperately to belong and yet felt better locked up in
their isolation creating their music, their art, their poetry, whatever
their talent was. And yet, they craved the spotlight, seeking adoration
and love, acceptance if you will, and yet it was never enough.
I know there are some of you out there who feel the same. You feel like
no one will understand. You feel like you’ll never be normal. I’m
telling you now, what many of us could have told Nick, “yeah, I do
understand, and yeah, it’s a hard road , and a long struggle but it can
be handled if you fight hard and not go through this alone. And it
doesn’t mean you’re “crazy”. It means you have an illness just like
someone has diabetes or asthma or high blood pressure. Don’t let some
fucktard attach a label on you. You don’t have to go through this alone.
information, check out
Nick with Link 80
or contact me, at I’m gonna be here each
answering all sorts of questions, trying to give my twisted advice to
those twisted enough to ask me anything about everything. You can ask
stuff by emailing me and then I’ll address it here without exposing
your identity or your freakiness.
Till then, Happy
Birthday, Nick. We know you’re flying with the angels, babe.