full metal jacket potato
marvin cheeseman
By Chris Rockson
After the Punk poetry of John Cooper Clarke, and from just down the
road where JCC once lived, in my hometown of Salford, comes another
'Bard of Beasley Street', a street poet, and friend of mine, by the name of Marvin Cheeseman.
Here are a couple of his little Gems, plucked out of his extensive
portfolio....and a couple that ain't been released yet, so we're
very honoured to be the first!
Sit back and enjoy!
PRIMARK – THE RUMBLE IN THE JUMBLE
by Marvin Cheeseman
Queues as far as the eye can see
Clothes so cheap they’re almost free
High Street heaven for the skint and thrifty
Five pairs of knickers for one pound fifty
Cut-price clobber rail after rail
A 52 week-long January sale
Shameless shoppers soon succumb
To the large scale jumble sale rugby scrum
Denims and tempers are equally frayed
Impeccable manners rarely displayed
A jostle here, an elbow there
In love, war and the process of frenzied sartorial consumer
transactions, all is fair
Manic men with psychotic spouses
Rabidly rummage through mounds of trousers
Marks and Spencer hot for six
By the very antithesis of Harvey Nicks
Garment garlands garnish the floor
I trip on pyjamas for a girl aged four
Grab what you can then run out fast
How much longer can this madness last?
It’s a bargain bonanza that can’t be resisted
You’d think branded clothing had never existed
Shirt, shoes, kecks and a coat
I still had change from a five-pound note.
CAPTAIN
KIRK WAS CONSIDERED A 'LOOKER'
Captain Kirk was
considered a 'looker'
But when he
became 'TJ Hooker'
I think Mr.Spock
Would have got
quite a shock
At this podgy,
wig-wearing old fucker.
THERE
WAS A YOUNG LAD FROM DEVIZES
There was a young
lad from Devizes
Wrote poems to
try and win prizes
But the judges
weren’t smitten
With the stuff
that he’d written
A lot of it
didn’t even rhyme.
LOVE
POEM TO WHOEVER
by Marvin
Cheeseman (after John Cooper Clarke)
Let me be your
dream car, a shiny E-type Jag
Let me be your
Marlboros when you’re gaspin’ for a fag
When you’re
hungry grant this wish
Let me be your
favourite dish
Take me, take me,
I’m yours…
Let me be your
Ray Bans for all those sunny days
When you have a
salad let me be your mayonnaise
Sip some tea babe
with those lips
Let me be your PG
Tips
Take me, take me,
I’m yours…
Let me be your
shoelace, I will never snap
If one day you
lose your way, let me be your map
When your
sideboard needs a clean
Let me be your Mr
Sheen
Baby you know
what I mean
Take me, take me,
take me,
I’m yours.
MARVIN
CHEESEMAN
Writer and
Performer
Marvin Cheeseman
made his debut as a performance poet in 1998 at Manchester’s Frog
and Bucket comedy club. The following year, after winning several
poetry “slams”, he was featured in the Manchester Poetry Festival.
The year 2000 saw the release of his first poetry collection “Full
Metal Jacket Potato” published by the Bad Press. The success of this
book led to appearances at a range of festivals and comedy venues
around the country, including four separate appearances at the
Cheltenham Festival of Literature.
Over the last
five years Marvin’s work has featured on BBC Radio 1, 2 and 4 and he
appeared on the BBC television poetry series “Whine Gums.” He has
published a limerick collection entitled “Making Prawn Sandwiches
for Roy Keane” and a new book “A Bran Flake in the Butter” is to be
published in spring 2008.
Marvin has
delivered many workshops in schools and libraries around the north
of England, working everywhere from primary schools to prisons.In
2005 working alongside fellow poet Mike Garry, Marvin helped produce
the “Submerged” book – part of the Gifted and Talented initiative,
which took place at Ashton Art Gallery, Manchester.
In November 2005
Marvin made a very memorable appearance in between John Hegley and
Dave Spikey at Manchester Comedy Store’s tribute night for the late
Hovis Presley.
Recent activities
include a commission from the Prince’s Trust to work for a week with
school children at Leeds Art Gallery as part of the Queen’s
80th birthday celebrations and recording an edition of “Real Deal”
with antiques expert David Dickinson to perform a poem specially
written for the show called “Tat or Treasure.”
Marvin can be
contacted at :
marvincheeseman@hotmail.co.uk
http://www.myspace.com/marvincheeseman
