A Road Trip to CB's
by Timm Carney
Midnight Creeps and The Sleazies booked gigs opening for The Vibrators at
CBGB’s. I was invited
by Jennifer Hurricane lead singer for the Midnight Creeps. The show was
Saturday September 29th, this would be my last chance to go to
CBGB’s; sure I’ll go. Jennifer said “We’re leaving around 2, well no
maybe 3 ok ok 4.” At 4:30 we were on the freeway heading south. The
worst part about driving to New York from Providence is Connecticut. 100
miles of sheer never ending tedium, but luckily, I was one of 13 in a
12-passenger van so it was a lot of fun.. In Mediocre (I think that was
the name of the town) Connecticut we pulled over at a rest area cum
McDonalds cum Dunkin Donuts cum Gift Shoppe.
guys are a rock band!” said the roly-poly guy with the Burt Reynolds
mustache. He was apparently once a fan of “Rawk” and asked Stimbot of the
Sleazies if they sounded like “Satriani”. His clearly embarrassed and
aging trophy wife eased him into the SUV.
Back in the
van Jennifer sits up front next to Jami who’s driving, Ma and Pa Punk
Rock. Ma starts making her skirt for the show out of a roll of Caution
tape. Jennifer usually makes her outfit just before the show. She
recently made a skirt from raw bacon. When asked about it she simply
shouted “Who wants to bring home the bacon?”
arranged a parking spot for us right out front and we all poured out onto
Bowery. Jennifer and I walked
into the narrow club and past the stage to the restrooms. Some teenage
boys with fabulous hair and famous person’s kid guitars were just
finishing up their set and breaking down. Jaded New Yorkers watched her
pass with interest. Jennifer turned it on when we walked in to the door
of CB’s. Jennifer was now officially at work.
outside to meet some friends waiting like old groupies on the sidewalk.
We went off to semi-quiet yuppie bar and scared up a few bar stools.
New York has
changed since I started going to CBGB’s but CB’s has not. The East
Village the one time home of bohemians and junkies has been repopulated by
copyeditors and upper middle management bankers. CBGB’s had to go. A good
fight was fought but the realtors won. It was over; but wait CB’s has
been saved (sorta). It’s moving to Las Vegas! Vegas has always had a
shitty music scene. Sure John Davidson and Cher can get gig but not your
average punk rock band. Toto might be playing but le Tigre and The Dandy
Wahols are not. CB’s is moving lock stock and urinal and is giving Las
Vegas the rock and roll legitimacy that only Vegas can buy.
were playing when we got back into the club. “I wanna fuck your Mom”
really is a hit. My friend Meg and I ordered a couple of beers. Meg now
needed to pee. “Escort Me,” she shouted into my ear. We worked our way
back skirting the pit as best we could; a crash and a stumble later we
were in the dressing room talking to Jonas from The Midnight Creeps.
Jonas is a nice guy. He’s really quiet and chick love him. I showed Meg
to the ladies room. 2 minutes later she returned. “I can’t do it we have
to go someplace else.” Having used the men’s room I could only imagine
the horrors of the ladies room. We ran back across the street to the
yuppie bar. Much more pleasant!
back in just as Jennifer and the Midnight Creeps were coming onto stage.
They killed! Jennifer’s rages backed by the Midnight Creeps pulled the
crowd into their web. The Vibrators were next. My friend Jacki loves The
Vibrators. She felt she looked like someone’s mother “Have you seen my
son? I want to take his picture.” She said pulling a camera from her
Vibrators could be the scariest looking band I have ever seen. An
apparent combination of embalming fluid and oxycontin flows through their
collapsed veins. They played well and put on a very good show. I’m
glad I got to see them. When the show was over it was back to their crypt
at the Chelsea for the Vibrators.
after the show, I sat in the van with Pete Burr. An old and very chatty
black man offered to fly us home in his helicopter. We also met Justin a
16-year-old punk rock runaway. “Where are you guys from?” “Providence”
“Where’s that?” “Rhode Island” “Where’s that?” “Go back to high school
and finish taking geography kid”
I looked out
of the van window at 3am to see Jennifer making out on the sidewalk with
Punk Rock Boy. He claims to be on the street. I would have believed him
if he weren’t almost clean shaven and to perfectly dressed.
camping this weekend with Seth Feldman.”
honey, have fun!”
were able to free ourselves from both Justin and the helicopter pilot load
everyone including Jennifer into the van. Driving through New York
everyone has an opinion as to the best way to get out of town. Suddenly
Jennifer’s phone rings, it’s CB’s booker asking if she would be interested
in playing another show. Patti Smith is mentioned. Patti is CB’s last
act fitting, as Joey is dead and would be the logical last act. Patti it
is. “Baby was a black sheep Baby was a whore…”
wake up and the van is stopping at the rest area in Boredom Bay
Connecticut. It’s like 4:75 or something in the morning before we finally
get back on the road. The next thing I know we are pulling into
Providence. I’m home. I can see my house from where Jami has parked the
van. 6:35 am I’m in bed!