10 of the Best - August
by MCJ

OK, for this months 10 of the Best we start with Beki Bondage Of Vice Squad..yes the Beki Bondage..as before my smart arse comments in bold.......

1. What is the best view out of a window you have seen so far?

Llubjiana through a plane window and a mist of alcohol. Capital of Slovenia ...America.

2. What did you want to do when you left school?

I was already in Vice Squad at school so my fate was already sealed. When I was little I wanted to be a vet, but Punk Rock called.......Punk rock vet.. there must be one out there .......'My Dog keeps spitting, “take this Vice SQUAD CD and come back when her hair is blue”

3.  Do you believe in destiny or do you think it's happen stance you ended up where you are?

Possibly a bit of both, some are destined to love music and be noizy bastards, but it takes determination and blind stupidity to keep at it for years, forsaking all other careers.

[Glad you did!]

4.  What’s pissing you off most at the moment?

Cruelty, ignorance, excessive greed, Red Tape, bullshitters and the fact my guitar sound went CLEAN at one point at a gig last night.

5.  If you could put one law on the books, what would it be? And do you think it would work?

I would make it illegal to cause suffering to sentient creatures, i.e. any living thing capable of feeling pain. This would wipe out factory farming and vivisection etc. thereby meaning people would eat better food and have better health thereby reducing the strain on the health service. Global warming would also be greatly reduced and there would be more food available to poorer nations science would also move forward as scientists would no longer be dependent on the very misleading results of vivisection. There would be less abuse of women and children as the wife- beaters who start off kicking their pet dog and then move on to the kids and the spouse because they believe it's OK to abuse anyone physically weaker than themselves would have been locked up the minute they displayed their inhumane nature. Basically people would be expected to have humanity in order to be considered human. This would change the class system forever as all the chinless wonders who shoot birds, hunt deer etc. would all be getting goosed in the showers of various prisons rather than collecting the country's biggest giro's. This law would only be truly effective if it was implemented world wide, as if all other countries still sanctioned vivisection and factory farming we'd still have mass starvation, global warming etc. and all the Bernard Matthews types in Britain would just move their 'businesses' to other countries. Unless the law extended to all British citizens where ever they were, like with pedophiles.

6.   Is now the best time to be alive? If not when?

Even though there is so much wrong with 'now' it's still better than a few decades ago for most people. You only have to look at backward countries where stoning people to death is considered reasonable behaviour to see how far we've moved forward. Progress is slow because those with a vested interest in the status quo are very resistant to change.

7.  When they make the film of your life so far, whose going to play you?

Johnny Depp in drag.
But seriously it would have to be Barbara Windsor or Hattie Jacques, with Bernard Breslaw as Lumpy, Charles Hawtry as Mildred and Sid James as Tone for the earlier years and that geezer who plays Sir Les Patterson as Kev for the later years. There would also be a part for Blakey from 'On the buses' as Stinky (Bombshells' bass player). The cast of 'Dad's Army' would play the other Bombshells.

OK America, your going to have to 'google' these people I'm far to lazy to explain...

8.  What would people find most surprising in your record collection?

Queen 2.

9.   It’s 1973, your forming a ‘super group, whose in it? And yes you all have to wear satin capes on stage!

Just satin capes? Are we all naked apart from the capes? There has to be stack heeled boots, World War 1 German helmets and a lot of ladies clothes or I'm not playing! Steve Priest from Sweet on bass (because of the helmet and lipstick, what a combination), Robbo and Scott Gorham from Thin Lizzy on lead guitars (2 Les Pauls!!! ), John Bonham on drums (with the proviso that he's not allowed to poo in Steve Priest's handbag) and Noddy Holder on vocals because he has the vocal strength of a fog horn. What a band.
 

[I'd forgotten all about Sweet! My Dad thought they were disgusting! Need I say more !]

10.  When is time to stop being a Punk Rocker?

When you're dead, if there's no afterlife.

I think that'll be my next piece 'Describe the Punk after life'!

11. Why do you keep impersonating Mandie Shaw?! (or so she claims....)

I don't understand the question.

Mandie was mistaken for you by an autograph hunter in Leeds.... OK I'll give up on humour !

12.  Any questions you wish you'd been asked ? feel free to ask and answer them here!

No, that's quite enough for me on a Sunday afternoon with a slight hangover thank you very much.

Oh, except for 'what is your website address?"
'It's www.lastrockers.com or www.vicesquad.co.uk'
www.myspace.com/vicesquad

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Thanks to Beki and Stu Taylor. Next we have Andi of the wonderful Snap Her...

The view of the inside of the courthouse where the Bush administration (and all of their partners in crime) were being told that they have been found guilty for crimes against humanity and the planet. They all screamed and cried out, pleading for to be spared. Then they were bitch slapped and escorted to the worst prison in the world, where there are 12 inmates in a cell meant for only three people, they are given water once every two days, food, once a week (only a spoonful) are made to consume each others urine and faeces, sleep with rats crawling on them on cement floors, no blanket, pillows and a good kick in the face when complaining.
That was a nice 'view' in one of my dreams.

[OK, as it's so vivid that stays in , I'm guessing your not a Republican ?]

2.  What did you want to do when you left school?

Travel, see the world.

3. Do you believe in destiny or do you think it's happen stance you ended up where you are?

happen stance

4.  What's pissing you off most at the moment?

The fact that I am drowning in a sea of hospital bills from my car accident in January of 2006. I now have a titanium leg, and it's costing me $200,000, I am now selling my possessions in order to raise funds for my next surgery.

Please see the end of this piece for ways to help Andi, and if you're British thank your personal deity for The National Health Service!

5.  If you could put one law on the books, what would it be? And do you think it would work?

Anyone caught fighting dogs or running a dog fighting ring has their balls shot off by yours truly with the firearm of my choice.  I think it would work :)

6.   Is now the best time to be alive? If not when?

That is a tough one to answer as there are so many pros and cons.  I think I would enjoy living in the sixties, seventies and eighties though.

7.  When they make the film of your life so far, whose going to play you?

Franka Potente.

[Good Choice, I had to 'google' her , but good choice!]

8.  In the pre digital days, when you could look through some ones record collection, what was the most surprising/interesting thing you found? If nothing comes to mind , what would people find most surprising in yours?

Interesting that you should ask, my collection is rather eclectic and unfortunately, have it up for sale due to the fact that I need to come up with money for the next surgery on my leg. The collection has a wide variety of music, not just punk rock.

9.  It's 1973, your forming a 'super group' , whose in it? And yes you all have to wear satin capes on stage!

Wendy O. Williams, Bootsy Collins, Keith Moon, Joe Strummer and Myself of course.

10.  When is time to stop being a Punk Rocker?

Never.

Anyone interested in purchasing any parts of my record collection, clothes, shoes, etc. I will be selling goods for quite a long time in order to pay my hospital bills.   I am also making 'A Clockwork Doggie' costumes for the Stanley Kubrik fans who like to dress up their dog.
My e mail address is plaidpenguin@gmail.com.

Also, the myspace Snap-Her profile URL is myspace.com/snapher

**********************

And finally, Detroit’s finest Choking Susan, answered by lead singer Colleen Caffeine, who is still working on her answers to the set questions in the mean time has answered these from her sister and inspiration in life Dawn: -

1. What song made the biggest impact on your life?

I think it was Humpty Dumpty..cuz I learned all the kings horses AND all the kings men couldn't put humpty together again

2. Which song, that you wrote, is your favorite and why?

"you're so pretty"

I like it because I wrote the words and music and I'm the best so it must be the best

3. Who do you best get along with in your band and why?

I get along with whoever buys me the most stuff or lets me manipulate them for the longest period of time...it changes all the time

5. What is your best quality or feature?

Well certainly it is my gigantic bosoms! isn’t it apparent?

Not a word from me ……

*****

Thanks to everyone who took the time to answer, next time we’ll have questions the bands wish they’d been asked and Beki Bondage of Vice Squad’s answers to these questions and insights on Her life as a Mandie Shaw impersonator!

**********************

And now for a view from the other side of the stage we have the Unique Siouxie from Florida...

1.  What is the best view out of a window you have seen so far?

In New York, heart of Manhattan. on Avenue of the Americas...I was on the 6th floor so I could see people clearly. I was sitting in the window people watching when I saw a man in a 3 piece suit, set his briefcase between his legs, arrange his man bag and pee on the subway entrance wall.

2.  What did you want to do when you left school?

Party, live, take down the govt.

mmm, my cousin wrote that on a visa application to the USA, strange they never did let him in...

3.  Do you believe in destiny or do you think it’s happen stance you ended up where you are?

I believe in fate, what will happen will, what won't won't. Don't struggle too hard as change is out of your hands. I was destined to do something, I am looking for it...

Anyone who has seen it , please write in!

4.  What’s pissing you off most at the moment?

Religious zealots and the government I am under sliding into their control! Amerikka is soo fucked right now. The point of the trek from Britain, the slaughter of my people and the foundation of this country was supposed to be freedom.
We lose freedom on a daily basis here.

5.  If you could put one law on the books, what would it be? And do you think it would work?

I would prefer to remove laws...I am a Libertarian(third party fringe in Amerikkan politics). I believe in LESS governmental interference into the day to day lives of it's citizens.   I believe the A number 1 law I would change would be the decriminalization of drug use and possession.
Marijuana, cocaine, heroine, in their pure and natural states are not deadly. Countries that have done this have seen crime, death and disease that goes along with black market drugs drop to nearly nil.  This will never happen as Amerikkka has become a fascist state, and our true leaders, the Corporate heads would lose their money.

6.  Is now the best time to be alive? If not when?

I don't know, every era has pros and cons. As a half-breed Native Amerikkkan Woman(Chicamagua Cherokee) I have to say in this form, yes, this is the best time for me. My grandma was half black-foot, 1/4 Chicamagua and 1/4 white. She was put in adoption agency as the Clan killed her family. She was not adopted as she was not white. She received a bare bones education and at 18 when booted from the orphanage she had only 1 thing she could do. Find a husband. She then became a baby machine. I love her for it, she was strong, resourceful, but it is a life I am glad I did not have to take.

7.  When they make the film of your life so far, whose going to play you?

hmmmm, i want an unknown...go to Oklahoma, to a Cherokee or Choctaw reservation. There I am sure you will find a reasonable facsimile.
If it has to be a recognizable actress...
Alex Borstien(comedienne, voice and writer for Family Guy)!!!` She is shorter and a bit heavier, but has the sense of humour and the attitude. I don't want a twig playing me, unless it's Angelina ;))

8.  In the pre digital days, when you could look through some ones record collection, what was the most surprising/interesting thing you found? If nothing comes to mind , what would people find most surprising in yours?

I had a 30-or40th generation bootleg copy of Mettallica playing the Whiskey A Gogo. In the recording they encouraged the bootlegging to "get their music out there" ...Then they morphed into the anti-download nightmares who play very safe music? lol,
I had mostly bootlegs, punk concerts allowed it and I grew up poor. So buying tapes was novel.

9.  It’s 1973, your forming a ‘super group’ , whose in it? And yes you all have to wear satin capes on stage!

Jayson(my husband), Billie Holliday, James Brown, Johnny Rotten, David Bowie, George Clinton, Pink Floyd, and I want it to be an angry, trippy, funk mish mash that makes no sense and perfect sense. All their music styles will be included and yes, purple and pink knee high satin boots to match their capes.

OK, with you for most of it... but Pink Floyd! not it you paid me ..... well if you paid me quite a lot I'd go, but I'd have my ipod on !

10.  When is time to stop being a Punk Rocker?"

What!! Fuck you!!

**********************

Finally, Mere Dead Mens' golden couple Rag and Mandie Shaw , with the questions they wish they'd been asked over the years..

1.  If you could be in any band in the world who would it be? (from rag)

rag....i would love to be in a big band cos I'd want to be dead rich, but i didn't think I'd have to answer the question so it would probably be...........blink 182...oh yes says Mandy i wish you was Travis barker too! Rag: I've just decided I'll change it to no doubt and i wish you was Gwen Sstefani!

2.  If you could change your partner to anyone else in the world who would it be? (from mandie)

see above ha ha...no only joking!...i wouldn't change rag for all the money in the world, pity he wouldn't he'd take the money.....bastard.

3.  What really pisses you off at gigs?

Mandy....people calling me Beki Bondage!!!!! gggrrr i hate that.
OK class remember not Beki Bondage see above for more of Beki..

rag....people never know who i am....and having to carry drums.
Your the one whose in Drongos for Europe aren't you?......

4.  Whats your favourite mdm song and why?

mandy....centre of attention cos singing it is like having sex.
No it's not a 12 second track!...

rag....don't judge me...cos it's the first song i ever played with mdm.

5.  What would be your perfect line up?

mandy...me and dave vanian duetting on vocals, captain sensible on guitar, rob on lead, richie on bass and 2nd bass who's on first bass whats on 2nd bass, abbott and costello, and of course rag scabies on drums, with travis barker just sitting there looking pretty.
rag...my nose thank you very much!

6.  What would you be doing if you weren't in mdm?

mandy....I would be in vice squad! ha ha only joking...I would probably be in v, thats telly not transvestite. either that or porn movies.

rag....probably drinking and smoking and banging me head against the wall.
You'd both do a better job than Richard & Judy! (sorry America, more work for Google here..)

7. Five words...say the first word that comes into your head after it.

mandy...penetration-pauline
porn-star
star-fucker
groupie-sexy
beer-drinker
rag........tit-fanny
bum-stinky
oral-sex
drum-key
pisshead-me

8.  Why do you do it?

mandy...because I love the 40 mins or so I am on stage, I hate the bit before, the traveling, the carrying gear, the waiting around to go on stage, cos at that point I get extreme stage fright and I want to throw up, but the minute we hit the first note and I get into the first verse, I am somebody different, it's my way therapy! off stage I am quiet on stage I am the noisy confident person I wish I could be all the time, but I must say as I get older I get more confident, so who knows in another 20 years I might be a crazy mad woman. I also do it cos punk rock is my life, I couldn't live with out it, if I wasn't in a band I would still be going to gigs and being involved, probably promoting gigs on a bigger scale than I do now and alot more often.
rag......because I'm a Pisces and it keeps me dream alive.
 
9. What do you wish for mdm that hasn't so far happened?

mandy...rags gone for a shower so I'm on me own now.....so what has happened so far has been great don't get me wrong I am grateful to everyone who has helped or supported us along the way over the past 22 years! but what I do regret is the fact that we so often get overlooked for bands who have been together 5 minutes! we have done such alot for the punk scene and have been consistently playing but we don't seem to get alot of recognition,or get higher up the bills, it's hard sometimes to keep a happy face and to keep faith in what we do, sometimes I think if the lads had done it with a male singer they may have got taken more seriously, thats one thing that I find sad in the punk scene, that bands with female singers/musicians often get treated like fluff and they are not thought of as being as serious as the other bands, it's still a very macho world out there and hey guys at the end of the day my voice is actually alot more powerful than some of the so called good male singers.

here fucking here!

10.   Any last thoughts?

mandy...yes, I would like to ask the interviewer a question....why does he like mdm? discuss...30 minute paper on 2 A4 sides I am expecting 500 words ha...sorry I thought I was back in school for a moment!

At last my chance to toady and get on the guest list of the next MDM gig....
 First and foremost I love their music, the sound sums it all up for me .There are ,thank fuck ,loads of good bands still out there , but if there could be only one then MDM would get my vote!

REMEMBER  bands like MDM ,the next time someone takes your money only to a see some arse 'phone in' a performance and expects and you show proper 'respect' that they turned up ! As I remember it that's what we were rebelling against in the first place! Anyone with a Super Tramp Album please leave the room!

I've gone all shy now ! Buy me a  drink or three sometime and I'll gush for hours!

Next month ,so far we have Texas Terri, Queen Bee – See Mandie Shaw I like female fronted bands!


 

 

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